Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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