he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
