hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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