Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
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Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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