why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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