We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
