I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize