Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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