I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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