Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
