So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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