Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
