a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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