My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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