shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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