i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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