and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize