Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
