I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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