Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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