Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
