K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
