its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
