I love watching others lives come down to our level.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
