I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i dont even know how to be here
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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