why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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