i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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