to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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