He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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