I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
