i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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