It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
In other news, I just burned my penis
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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