I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
