Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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