my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
zippers are such a cool invention
this just has baby written all over it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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