I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
