he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize