Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
