I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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