drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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