Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
