I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
