this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
