You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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