Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
