two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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