they need to just BURY HIM!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
