When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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