I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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