I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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