All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
