Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
