Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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