I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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